How often have you had one of those mornings, when you wake up with a groan because you have a headache, you feel nauseous, and you’re having horrible flashbacks of ridiculous things you said and did the night before, and worrying about the things you can’t remember, including how much you spent!
I had one of those mornings this morning. It was a randomly heavy day of drinking which ended at a party with some new friends. I think it is worse to get that kind of drunk with people you are still getting to know. When I act like an idiot in front of my friends I know they’ll laugh at me but forgive me... you can’t be so sure when you’re still getting to know people. Another concern is the memory loss, and so not being able to remember what you said. In fact, last night I’m sure I wrote a message in someone’s birthday book and can’t remember for the life of me what it was; I hope it wasn’t anything terrible. I don’t want to ask people what I may have said and done as I don’t want to draw too much attention to it.
So this morning I’m making the same promises to myself as I have on previous occasions: never again! Chances of that being true are slim, but I can try.
I suggested to my other half that I might give up alcohol all together. I’ve thought about it a few times. Neither of my parents drink at all so it’s not a foreign concept. Drinking is expensive, so I’ll save money, and it is basically poisoning yourself. He was not very supportive. He said that it was unreasonable not to allow yourself a glass of wine at dinner at least. The fast that this was his response may point to our different upbringings. His parents are quite heavy drinkers... not alcoholics or anything but wine with every meal that kind of thing, but it’s probably a different mentality about drink.
Anyway, so I have decided to give up alcohol as of today... call me a control freak but I don’t like to lose control. I think it will be difficult to break the habit, and I think the peer pressure may also be difficult, but we’ll see.
I guess one comforting thought it that the world doesn’t in fact revolve around me, so although I’m obsessing over every little thing I said and did, I doubt anyone else is.
Sunday, 26 February 2012
Saturday, 25 February 2012
Malikas (review)
On Wednesday night I went to Malikas in Oxford for a friend's birthday dinner... must be a new restaurant as its not on trip adviser. I hear its a spin off from Aziz on Cowley road; some unhappy staff branching out on their own. It did have a very Aziz feel.
I have mixed feelings about my experience. We waited a very long to be served (though we were a party of 14), but the guy who served us was extremely nice and on the ball.
Popadoms were good, though I still wonder why they don't just bring out mango chutney; does anyone actually eat any of the other dips?
I ordered the Bangladeshi fish curry (which the waiter informed me was a good choice - the only one on the table, score!), and it was a good dish, very tasty, though I swear it only had 4 chunks of fish in it... a bit disappointing.
In the end the whole meal including sides and drinks only cost us about £20 and change each so it was pretty good value (probably explaining the lack of fish) and at the end of the meal they offered us all a free spirit, I assume on account of my friend's birthday.
As often seems to happen to me on a night out, I managed to have a run in with someone. As usual, I don't really know how it happened. Someone down the other end of the table said 'just ad eo to the end of everything and it becomes Latin for I do'. All I said was 'that's not Latin for do,' not in a particularly serious way but he seemed to take offence and came back saying 'it was just a joke'. Assuming it was banter and responded 'well it not really funny when its wrong' and he took it really badly. At the end he left in a huff. I feel terrible, but don't see how this was my fault. I say that, but this type of thing happens to me all the time, hmmmm.
I have mixed feelings about my experience. We waited a very long to be served (though we were a party of 14), but the guy who served us was extremely nice and on the ball.
Popadoms were good, though I still wonder why they don't just bring out mango chutney; does anyone actually eat any of the other dips?
I ordered the Bangladeshi fish curry (which the waiter informed me was a good choice - the only one on the table, score!), and it was a good dish, very tasty, though I swear it only had 4 chunks of fish in it... a bit disappointing.
In the end the whole meal including sides and drinks only cost us about £20 and change each so it was pretty good value (probably explaining the lack of fish) and at the end of the meal they offered us all a free spirit, I assume on account of my friend's birthday.
As often seems to happen to me on a night out, I managed to have a run in with someone. As usual, I don't really know how it happened. Someone down the other end of the table said 'just ad eo to the end of everything and it becomes Latin for I do'. All I said was 'that's not Latin for do,' not in a particularly serious way but he seemed to take offence and came back saying 'it was just a joke'. Assuming it was banter and responded 'well it not really funny when its wrong' and he took it really badly. At the end he left in a huff. I feel terrible, but don't see how this was my fault. I say that, but this type of thing happens to me all the time, hmmmm.
Tuesday, 21 February 2012
Are Kindles the Devil?
Yesterday for work I attended a talk on ways to improve your website. I actually found this talk fascinating, not withstanding the fact that it took place in one of those seminar rooms where something about the lighting just makes you want to fall asleep and a not small part of my attention was taken up with keeping my eyes open. Thankfully I’m a woman and therefore can multitask.
The interesting part of the talk was not the checklist of tips for improving individual sites (which were of course useful) but what turned out to be a long digression on the way the internet is changing our brains.
The speaker referenced recent works by Nicholas Carr. Carr suggests that in the past information was accessed in libraries and through reading extended prose. This type of engagement with knowledge was like scuba diving; the seeker fully immersed themselves in the information and therefore came away with an in depth and sustained knowledge of the topic. Today answers are sought on the internet, quickly accessed and obtained. Carr likens this to skimming across an ocean of information on a jet ski – rather than delving in like our scuba diver – and so the knowledge gained is less well formulated and retained. He also thinks that the practice of accessing information via the internet is changing the way we think, predisposing us to skim, and making it increasingly difficult for us to dive. He gives anecdotal evidence that he and many of his friends find it increasingly difficult to even read extended prose without their minds wandering.
The consummate devil’s advocate, I’ve been asking myself whether it’s a bad things that our brains rewire to access information in the way that the internet delivers it. Reading isn’t an innate skill, and seems rather to be a constructed cultural activity that no doubt over hundreds of years has trained our brain to dive into information. The internet is a new cultural construct to which we are adapting just like we adapted to written text at some point. You get the feeling that one can’t be against the internet itself, but must rather be against the society that places the internet at the centre of its existence (nothing is good or evil, just thinking makes it so?). The talk finished with ways to improve your website that would cater to the new internet generated brain pathways… clearly contributing to what the speaker appeared to consider a bad thing.
Despite wanting to argue every point on principle, I’m also just a bit of an old fashioned pragmatist. Like most people today, I too spend a lot of my day on the internet accessing the information I need quickly and efficiently, but I have not yet personally found that this has diminished by ability to enjoy a good book. Perhaps this is a result of my rather old fashioned upbringing… being forced to read, banned from the television on school nights, and having to share a single computer with two siblings (and as the youngest I was the lowest of the food chain!). Another result of this upbringing is that I refuse to read books on kindles (although I don’t think Carr would consider reading kindle books skimming) for I feel, like Tom Russell, that reading a book on a kindle must be like making love to a blow up doll; or in the more PG words of Rupert Giles, ‘learning should be smelly’.
I do have to admit that I skimmed the second half of Nicholas Carr’s article when I read it, though I don’t know whether this was because my brain can no longer concentrate on extended prose, or I just lost interest the old fashioned way.
The interesting part of the talk was not the checklist of tips for improving individual sites (which were of course useful) but what turned out to be a long digression on the way the internet is changing our brains.
The speaker referenced recent works by Nicholas Carr. Carr suggests that in the past information was accessed in libraries and through reading extended prose. This type of engagement with knowledge was like scuba diving; the seeker fully immersed themselves in the information and therefore came away with an in depth and sustained knowledge of the topic. Today answers are sought on the internet, quickly accessed and obtained. Carr likens this to skimming across an ocean of information on a jet ski – rather than delving in like our scuba diver – and so the knowledge gained is less well formulated and retained. He also thinks that the practice of accessing information via the internet is changing the way we think, predisposing us to skim, and making it increasingly difficult for us to dive. He gives anecdotal evidence that he and many of his friends find it increasingly difficult to even read extended prose without their minds wandering.
The consummate devil’s advocate, I’ve been asking myself whether it’s a bad things that our brains rewire to access information in the way that the internet delivers it. Reading isn’t an innate skill, and seems rather to be a constructed cultural activity that no doubt over hundreds of years has trained our brain to dive into information. The internet is a new cultural construct to which we are adapting just like we adapted to written text at some point. You get the feeling that one can’t be against the internet itself, but must rather be against the society that places the internet at the centre of its existence (nothing is good or evil, just thinking makes it so?). The talk finished with ways to improve your website that would cater to the new internet generated brain pathways… clearly contributing to what the speaker appeared to consider a bad thing.
Despite wanting to argue every point on principle, I’m also just a bit of an old fashioned pragmatist. Like most people today, I too spend a lot of my day on the internet accessing the information I need quickly and efficiently, but I have not yet personally found that this has diminished by ability to enjoy a good book. Perhaps this is a result of my rather old fashioned upbringing… being forced to read, banned from the television on school nights, and having to share a single computer with two siblings (and as the youngest I was the lowest of the food chain!). Another result of this upbringing is that I refuse to read books on kindles (although I don’t think Carr would consider reading kindle books skimming) for I feel, like Tom Russell, that reading a book on a kindle must be like making love to a blow up doll; or in the more PG words of Rupert Giles, ‘learning should be smelly’.
I do have to admit that I skimmed the second half of Nicholas Carr’s article when I read it, though I don’t know whether this was because my brain can no longer concentrate on extended prose, or I just lost interest the old fashioned way.
Sunday, 19 February 2012
Chronicle - Review
Saw Chronicle at the cinema last week. Some friends asked what it was like, immediate reaction 'xmen meets blair witch'... though perhaps misfits blair witch style is a better description.
The three main characters are Andrew (Dane DeHaan - a panther man in True Blood, spent a lot of the film wondering about this), a loner with an incredibly rough home life including a dying mother and a drunk and abusive father. His cousin Matt (Alex Russell), a want to be philosopher who is too cool to participate in high school society, and Steve (Michael B. Jordan), a smart, athletic, charismatic, school it boy. At a party they come across some kind of radioactive thing in a cave, then they discover they have telekinesis. The unlikely group of friends bond over their new found powers and begin to play, until their power grows too great for the fragile teenage psyche to handle and things get out of control.
I think they did a good job of incorporating the filming element into the story line with Andrew floating the camera as one of his powers. I was slightly disappointed later in the film when he's separated from the camera and uses his telekinesis to pull peoples phones around him, but they don't use the footage in which could have been quite the cinematic feast.
My biggest complaint when watching the film was the four ten year olds sat in front of us, with their parents and what looked to be their little sister sat in the row behind. I realise the movie was only a PG13 but I thought it was rather dark, and I'm surprised the parents didn't take a second thought when the trailers before the movie included the Devil Inside and Prometheus. Call me old fashioned (I also don't friend friends' kids on facebook when they request it, that's just wired).
The three main characters are Andrew (Dane DeHaan - a panther man in True Blood, spent a lot of the film wondering about this), a loner with an incredibly rough home life including a dying mother and a drunk and abusive father. His cousin Matt (Alex Russell), a want to be philosopher who is too cool to participate in high school society, and Steve (Michael B. Jordan), a smart, athletic, charismatic, school it boy. At a party they come across some kind of radioactive thing in a cave, then they discover they have telekinesis. The unlikely group of friends bond over their new found powers and begin to play, until their power grows too great for the fragile teenage psyche to handle and things get out of control.
I think they did a good job of incorporating the filming element into the story line with Andrew floating the camera as one of his powers. I was slightly disappointed later in the film when he's separated from the camera and uses his telekinesis to pull peoples phones around him, but they don't use the footage in which could have been quite the cinematic feast.
My biggest complaint when watching the film was the four ten year olds sat in front of us, with their parents and what looked to be their little sister sat in the row behind. I realise the movie was only a PG13 but I thought it was rather dark, and I'm surprised the parents didn't take a second thought when the trailers before the movie included the Devil Inside and Prometheus. Call me old fashioned (I also don't friend friends' kids on facebook when they request it, that's just wired).
Oxford Seafood Quest
Last Thursday I went on an Oxford-based seafood quest with a friend who has been a vegetarian for 30 years, and is now adding fish to his diet.
Our first stop was Edamame, one of the few proper Japanese restaurants in Oxford, which only does sushi on a Thursday. Due to this policy and the rarity of sushi in Oxford this is a very popular night. They serve from 5pm to 8.30pm and recommend on their website that you ‘arrive early to avoid disappointment’. We did arrive at 5pm and were seated right away... by the time we left there was a queue of about 50 people down the street.
Despite the hype, we both actually found the sushi disappointing. I found the sushi menu very limited with mostly tuna and salmon options, and there weren't any 'wow' items on the menu to add some variety. When the sushi came out it was still quite chilled, probably because the items had been pre prepared and stored in the fridge, and being slightly too cold further muted the flavours.
I know some serious sushi eaters might find this sacrilegious but the best sushi I’ve ever had was in Australia and it included a range of the traditional raw fish (though with variety beyond salmon and tuna) and also some really interesting cooked fish.
After Edamame we went for a drink, but then two hours later decided that we hadn’t had the wow fish experience that my friend was looking for so we went in search of another meal and walked down to SoJo. We were mostly interested in sampling their dumplings as my friend had heard they had a special dumplings menu, but unfortunately there were only 2 fish options to try. We discussed our plight with the waitress and she suggested that we should give her a ‘brief: ‘a selection of amazing fish dishes to share costing about £25 between us (it was our second meal of the evening). The server came back and said that to do it properly we would need to spend £30 – blatant up selling – but we agreed. What she came back with was amazing and definitely the wow fish experience that we were looking for, dumplings, spicy squid and a fish marinated in spicy peppers. However, when we were about halfway through this last dish my friends picks something up on his fork and wonders what it is; turns out its ground beef. We sent it back and they brought us a spicy honey coated chicken and some complimentary dumplings, all of which I enjoyed.
I understand that my friend was upset, and we certainly didn’t leave a tip, but when I reviewed the two restaurants on trip advisor the next day (my first time), he said he thought I was a bit kind on them in my review (I said it was a horrible mistake but they did what they could to correct the situation). He wondered if the mistake happened (and was dealt with inadequately from his perspective) because of cultural differences... they thought of it as a seasoning rather than a meat.
I wonder if my lack of a deeper empathy was also culturally based as an Australian... mmm lamb, you must watch the video below.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGZEBjzkZMg
Our first stop was Edamame, one of the few proper Japanese restaurants in Oxford, which only does sushi on a Thursday. Due to this policy and the rarity of sushi in Oxford this is a very popular night. They serve from 5pm to 8.30pm and recommend on their website that you ‘arrive early to avoid disappointment’. We did arrive at 5pm and were seated right away... by the time we left there was a queue of about 50 people down the street.
Despite the hype, we both actually found the sushi disappointing. I found the sushi menu very limited with mostly tuna and salmon options, and there weren't any 'wow' items on the menu to add some variety. When the sushi came out it was still quite chilled, probably because the items had been pre prepared and stored in the fridge, and being slightly too cold further muted the flavours.
I know some serious sushi eaters might find this sacrilegious but the best sushi I’ve ever had was in Australia and it included a range of the traditional raw fish (though with variety beyond salmon and tuna) and also some really interesting cooked fish.
After Edamame we went for a drink, but then two hours later decided that we hadn’t had the wow fish experience that my friend was looking for so we went in search of another meal and walked down to SoJo. We were mostly interested in sampling their dumplings as my friend had heard they had a special dumplings menu, but unfortunately there were only 2 fish options to try. We discussed our plight with the waitress and she suggested that we should give her a ‘brief: ‘a selection of amazing fish dishes to share costing about £25 between us (it was our second meal of the evening). The server came back and said that to do it properly we would need to spend £30 – blatant up selling – but we agreed. What she came back with was amazing and definitely the wow fish experience that we were looking for, dumplings, spicy squid and a fish marinated in spicy peppers. However, when we were about halfway through this last dish my friends picks something up on his fork and wonders what it is; turns out its ground beef. We sent it back and they brought us a spicy honey coated chicken and some complimentary dumplings, all of which I enjoyed.
I understand that my friend was upset, and we certainly didn’t leave a tip, but when I reviewed the two restaurants on trip advisor the next day (my first time), he said he thought I was a bit kind on them in my review (I said it was a horrible mistake but they did what they could to correct the situation). He wondered if the mistake happened (and was dealt with inadequately from his perspective) because of cultural differences... they thought of it as a seasoning rather than a meat.
I wonder if my lack of a deeper empathy was also culturally based as an Australian... mmm lamb, you must watch the video below.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGZEBjzkZMg
Friday, 17 February 2012
Wardrobe Clear Out, Sock Edition
Recently I’ve been trying to ‘clear out’ my possessions (following the Zen Habits blog: http://zenhabits.net/transformations/), especially my extensive wardrobe of items rarely worn. I’ve been donating and selling things, and I haven’t let myself buy anything new... until yesterday.
When I put my socks on yesterday morning, not only could I not find a pair that matched, but I put my finger straight through a rather threadbare area near the heel. Although I could have changed the sock for another mismatched selection, I didn’t bother, I knew they would all be in a similar state. At lunch I went to Next and bought 10 new pairs of socks, a set of 4 funky coloured socks, a set of 3 funky preppy socks, and a set of 3 trainer socks... since you really do need them when wearing trainers. I changed my socks as soon as I got back to the office; pure bliss. When I got home, I threw out all my old socks. I didn’t go through them and try and save the occasional good pair.
The socks cost me £21, and I feel bad that I spent that much, but as I sit here in proper socks I don’t care.
This also gave me an idea. So far I’ve been clearing through my wardrobe by just picking out things that I don’t wear or like and put them up on ebay (and if they don’t see after a few listings drop them off at the charity shop), but I now think that a better approach could be by category. Yesterday I inadvertently did all my socks (not items worth selling or donating), tomorrow I may do jeans (yes I have enough pairs of jeans that they can be their own category), T-shirts, bras, etc.
I began this process today and over the space of 3 hours managed to 'clear' out 41 items from my wardrobe, and that was only from tops and dresses, I was too fed up to keep going after that (hence the need for a proper clean out!).
Since I've been doing a lot of ebaying this year so far as part of my clutter clean out, I've been thinking a lot about pricing. Especially in the last few weeks as I seem to have reached my quota of free listings and now need to pay for all my listings. With dvds it was the case that they were free to list if they were 99p, bit I've passed that now... but considering I don't have any particularly interesting dvds to sell (except for a Supernatural Season 3 boxset which sold quite well) 99p still seems like a good price to compete with the other people listing their crappy old dvds (I can't be the only person with a husband who will only let them watch blurays).
A bigger question was around pricing some of my dresses, which I've only worn once or twice and will clearly never wear again, but still appear 'valuable'. Considering how much they cost me (realistically not more than £40 I'm 'thrifty') but considering they've hardly been worn, 99p doesn't seem like enough. I've put them in at £10 each... though we still have to see if they will sell. The question is now if they don't sell, will I donate them or return them to my closet to not be worn?
Clearly I haven't really signed up to the de-clutter mantra.
Saturday, 11 February 2012
Conversations you can only have in Oxford (1)
Although names have been changed, I literally had this conversation last week.
Adam (English man living in Oxford who is an Oxford Graduate): You know I know a lot of Australians, and it seems to me that all of their fathers are surgeons who own farms on the side... that must be the done thing over there. Does your dad own a farm?
Me (Australian living in Oxford who is an Oxford Graduate): No.
Adam: Oh, what does your dad do?
Me: He's a roofer.
Adam: Oh, so are you like the black sheep in the family with a degree and all?
Me: No. Everyone in my family has a degree, except my sister who is a professional gymnastics instructor.
Adam: Oh.
Only in Oxford could (a) 90% of the Australians you meet have fathers who are surgeons and also own a farm on the side (b) someone assume that because your dad is a roofer you are the only person in your family who has gone to university.
Adam (English man living in Oxford who is an Oxford Graduate): You know I know a lot of Australians, and it seems to me that all of their fathers are surgeons who own farms on the side... that must be the done thing over there. Does your dad own a farm?
Me (Australian living in Oxford who is an Oxford Graduate): No.
Adam: Oh, what does your dad do?
Me: He's a roofer.
Adam: Oh, so are you like the black sheep in the family with a degree and all?
Me: No. Everyone in my family has a degree, except my sister who is a professional gymnastics instructor.
Adam: Oh.
Only in Oxford could (a) 90% of the Australians you meet have fathers who are surgeons and also own a farm on the side (b) someone assume that because your dad is a roofer you are the only person in your family who has gone to university.
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